Tuesday, October 26, 2010

To Begin A Crusade

In the middle of the journey of our lives,
I found myself upon a dark path. -DANTE

The day after returning from the music festival in Lerdo I was overcome by strange feelings, or rather the lack of feelings towards anything. I know now that this lack of feeling is my covert depression fighting to become overt depression. I know that this is a response to wounds (even if I can't seem to remember their cause) that I have carried inside me since my childhood. In his wonderful book I Don't Want To Talk About It, Terrence Real has given me many clues as to how to cure this disease. From my readings I have learned that most people (especially men, sorry guys) have little interest in listening to or talking to someone about this delicate subject that effects so many peoples lives. So, I will not bore you with much more on this topic. I finished Terry's book yesterday morning. I have never earmarked so many pages of a book in my life. I now feel properly equipped to begin a crusade very similar to the journey that Dante embarked on so many years ago. I will travel to the darkest scariest places I know of in this world. I will find my hurt, lost, lonely child and befriend him and help him to heel his wounds, my wounds. I will give him the love that he has longed for for all these years.

In the meantime I will show you guys the wonderful things that are happening, even as I struggle, life goes on.

Last week as I searched inside for some sort of feeling, I left Casa Verde and started walking. I walked over the Buffas past our land and kept going until I had reached the small town of Puentecias. I had finally worked up an appetite so I started to look for somewhere to eat. I found a small place and went inside. I asked for my usual, "Arroz y Frijoles?" The sweet lady said that she had beans, but no rice. Ok, how much? She thinks for a second still a little shocked at this big white guy who has showed up out of nowhere. "5 pesos" she says. "Wow!" I think to myself, less than .50 cents US. I should be able to swing that. A minute or so later she comes back from the kitchen and says that she has eggs if I would like. This sweet older lady was not trying to increase her earnings for the day, she is like most ladies in Mexico, she is a mother and she could see that I was hungry and like a good mother she knew that beans alone would not be enough. She was right and I agreed, some eggs would be fine. Throughout my meal 3 or 4 different waitress came to give me more corn tortillas. I imagine the ladies back in the kitchen as they describe the big gringo sitting and eating in the other room "I'll take him some more tortillas" just get a closer look.
The addition of the eggs brought the price up to $15 pesos.
About $1.40 US.
And then you have to find a place for desert. Or maybe it finds you.
A snow cone after lunch from the 3 wheeled bike dude.

1 comment:

  1. Bubba, You will be able to climb out of this deep, dark pit. Remember the words of Christopher Reeve, "Once you choose hope, anything's possible." If Superman says it, it's gotta be true. Love you so much, Aden